You might be asking yourself, what’s the point, Tasha? “Why does any of this stuff matter? I just want a nice house that I am proud of. This sounds like so much work. Just hurry up and tell me how to do it. I don’t have time for this.” Oh. Girl. That right there.
You might be asking yourself, what’s the point, Tasha? “Why does any of this stuff matter? I just want a nice house that I am proud of. This sounds like so much work. Just hurry up and tell me how to do it. I don’t have time for this.” Oh. Girl. That right there.
Get your own printable journal at awakenyourinterior.com/resources. It's also where you will find my movement playlist link for Spotify.
You might be asking yourself, what’s the point, Tasha? “Why does any of this stuff matter? I just want a nice house that I am proud of. This sounds like so much work. Just hurry up and tell me how to do it. I don’t have time for this.” Oh. Girl. That right there.
I know how hard it can be to live in a home that doesn’t feel right. It's not your fault. You were never taught how to create a home that makes you feel alive. The key is inside you, we just need to unlock it, and this podcast is where you begin.
I’m Tasha Cleaveland, welcome to the Listening Closely podcast.
The whole reason you have lost touch with your inner wisdom, is you think you don’t have time to listen to it. You think someone else knows better than you. Only YOU can tell me what you love. I can’t do that for you. I can read your body. I can tell you what it’s telling me. I can teach you how to put what you love together so you are proud of it. So your spaces reflect what brings you joy. But girl, I can’t do that magic if you are dead inside. If you let the pilot light go out. That’s the point of the journal. That’s why we take those baby steps to start listening closely to the whispers of your soul.
My daughter is pretty darn amazing. She started listening closely to her soul when she was 5. Pretty much the time everyone else stops, and begins learning how to follow the crowd. Im not gonna say she was easy. No kid is. They are all so different. Challenging in their own ways, easy in others. But that 5-6 year old phase was really, really hard.
She really struggled with her identity. But I refused to let her put out her own light. To stop listening to her soul when it said something different that what I or anyone else said. I wasn’t going to force her to fit into someone else’s idea of who she was supposed to be or how she was supposed to act. One day a kid came up to her and said “It would be a lot easier for me if you weren’t so confusing.” I asked her later, what’s more important, YOU being confused, or THEM?” Luckily she agreed that her knowing who she was, was far more important. Because I taught her to follow her soul, to listen closely and find her own path, no matter what others said, her inner voice got louder and stronger. At 16, her empathy and inner wisdom are so fine tuned it’s like a super power. I often ask her opinion when I am working on a project. She is the ultimate “this or that?” girl. Her style, her tastes, they are always changing. She never lets herself get stuck. And she always calls me out when I am.
Do you remember being like that? When you knew exactly what you liked and how you liked it? Do you remember when you felt like you could actually have what you wanted? I want you to find your fire again. To hear, to feel, to know, what your body wants. To feel like you freaking deserve that. Because you do.
I remember when I first started working with Shawn. I was asking for photos of what she loved, and asking a bunch of questions. She didn’t have all the answers. Sometimes it would take her a few days to get them to me. At one point she asked if it usually took people so long to figure out what they liked. I told her it did. But the more you are connected to your soul, the easier it is. It’s like trying to ride a beach cruiser on a rocky mountain trail, overgrown with bushes. You can get there, but it’s not easy. But the more you do it, the more in sync you are with your bike, the more you know the path, the smoother you flatten the road, the clearer and wider the path becomes. And when suddenly there is a new fork in the road, you are so in tune with your body that you can feel it pull you in the right direction. And if for some reason you made the wrong choice, your body will shout out. "Hey! I was wrong. Back that way.” There’s no guilt. Because this thing we are doing, it’s alive. It’s in a constant state of change. You are not that girl you once were. But I bet a long time ago you listened to her. What made you stop? When did you start seeing your own body, your own voice, as the enemy?
Look, if you just wanted a cookie cutter house and a cookie cutter life, and to be a cookie cutter human, you wouldn’t be listening to me right now, would you? The truth is, you know you were meant for more than the life you are living. You know deep down you cant just throw a new sofa at that hole inside you and make it go away. It won’t work. The freeking hole will still be there. It’s as if you had a disease that made your nails polka dotted, and people were telling you to fix it by painting your nails. Underneath the pretty polish, you still have spots. I don’t want you to hide the parts of you that are hard to love. I want you to learn to love them. To fill in the holes with that love. So that there is nothing to cover up.
When I dance I often touch my belly. In the beginning it was the strangest thing to me. Finally I started noticing how I was touching it. A soft, tender caress. An embrace. This belly that I started to see as my enemy by the time I was a teenager, wanted so much to simply be loved. In this space, I could love the parts of me that I felt were un-lovable.
What would happen if you started to love the parts of you, that you felt were unlovable? What would happen if your space made you feel like you could?
Heres what I noticed yesterday:
Glimmer of beauty:
I was getting gas, which is kinda an awkward ordeal in 2020. And for a moment I glanced up from this world of masks and hand sanitizer and was awestruck by the sun beaming from behind a pole and a jet leaving trails in the sky. I watched it slowly fly out of sight. It was like, for a moment, everything paused, and there was still wonder in this world.
The song for today is:
“Got it in Your” by Banners. Find this and all the songs I mention in this podcast on my Spotify, Listening Closely, playlist. Get the link at awakenyourinterior.com/resources
This song has gotten me through some really rough spots where I doubted myself. Thank you, Banners, for reminding me of who I am.
(Movement focus: loving the unlovable)
Soulwork for today:
What are the parts of you that you find unlovable? Start with your body. Scan from head to toe. And write down those parts of you that you have disowned. When you are finished, look at the list and let it sink in. That’s all for now. Just turn on the light.
Thank you so much for spending time with me today. I know how hard it is when it seems like there isn’t any to spare. But you showed up today. You put yourself on the list and I celebrate you. As you move through your day, keep your soul work assignment in mind and before starting bedtime routine, while the kids are brushing their teeth, grab your journal and fill in the prompts. Keep going. You can do this.
Know another mom who needs to put themselves on the list too? Please share the love, because we are stronger together.
Until tomorrow. Lots of love.
Tasha