Why are we finding the gray and white interior design trend so appealing? Let’s break it down and uncover the good, and… not so good, of this hot home style.
Why are we finding the gray and white interior design trend so appealing? Let’s break it down and uncover the good, and… not so good, of this hot home style.
The song for today, is:
“Through the Eyes of a Child” by Aurora.
Find this and all the songs I mention in this podcast on my Spotify, Listening Closely, playlist. Get the link at awakenyourinterior.com/resources It’s also where you can download your own printable body-led journal… and my new free e-book.
EPISODE 12: A Sea of Greige
It’s easy to get caught up in the gray on gray trend. It seems like everyone is doing it. But why are we finding this interior design trend so appealing? Let’s break it down and uncover the good, and… not so good, of this hot home style.
I know how hard it can be to live in a home that doesn’t feel right. It's not your fault. You were never taught how to create a home that makes you feel alive. The key is inside you, we just need to unlock it, and this podcast is where you begin. I’m Tasha Cleaveland, welcome to the Listening Closely podcast.
Carly was a client who was at the tail end of a remodel. It was going wonderfully. Thanks to the new gray trend, she was pulling things together on her own and nailing it. Thats the magic to the gray on gray deal… it’s pretty easy to get right. You got gray. And you got white. And you got greige (which is a warm gray that dances at the edge of beige but never quite tips the scale into taupe). Aaaaaaand thats about it. You might go contrasty with it, and pull in some charcoal but other than that, there isn’t much to decide. What’s great about that is that it forces you to play with textures. And oh how I love mixing textures! This works in any color palette…so keep that in mind when you get stumped. Texture play is much easier than pattern play.
But… why is this gray and white trend so hot? Well, most of us are in desperate need of some calm in our lives. Before quarantine most of us were rushing about in a tizzy. Too much to do, too many places to go, not enough time to do it all. And our bodies were screaming for a breath. The gray palette does just that. So here Carly was in her gorgeous space, and she was thrilled. But her husband kept pestering her. “It looks great! When are you putting some color in here?” She kept saying this was the plan, he kept insisting it felt bland and lifeless. And this is when the plan, goes off track.
I explained to Carly how differently the masculine and the feminine minds experience spaces. Her jaw was on the floor and she said “this is like a therapy session and a design consultation all at the same time!” If you are in the same predicament, let me try to bring some light to you as well.
Now is probably a good time to bring up the masculine and the feminine. I want to be really clear that I fully support your gender identity journey and I ask you to be honest with yourself when you show up with me. No masks allowed here. When I speak to you, I am speaking to your core essence. Not the show you feel like you gotta put on for the rest of the world. Not the mask of masculinity you drop over your feminine core because that makes you feel safe in this world. Or the feminine mask you drop over your masculine one… because everyone else expects that from you. When we deny a piece of our soul, we slowly die inside. It’s like the pilot light goes out and we are going through the motions wondering why we can’t feel anything anymore. Please know that when I speak of the masculine and feminine I do my best as a cis-woman to intentionally speak of the mind and not of the body. Because I support all the authentic pieces of you.
When a masculine walks into a room, they look with focused intent. Let’s say they want to watch tv. They walk over the pile of shoes, backpacks, and socks… grab the remote, turn on the tv. And sit down blissfully unaware of anything else. Goal achieved. You could do jumping jacks wearing a tutu and a Darth Vader helmet and he is not even going to notice you 3 feet from the screen. The masculine sees what they want, and overlooks the rest. (Keep this in mind when you are stressing over cellulite, mmmk?) Men are singular focused. Their brains are designed to hunt. One animal. Long range. Shape, movement. Thats all they care about. Forget the leaves on the forest floor. It’s not important to the goal.
The feminine on the other hand… oh mercy. We walk into a room and we see…. Everything. Its our super power. Our brains are designed to see the subtle nuances of ripe fruit versus poisonous ones. To hear the snap of the twig behind us. To know when the enemy is coming. But we aren’t in the wild anymore. And the enemy… is often ourselves. The problem when you are a mom, and you walk into your home… it’s ALL shouting at the same time. And its shouting “You aren’t good enough. Why don’t you have all this figured out yet? Who left this here?!” You see every thing that is out of place, and it is all demanding your attention- right. now. You can’t even think until the sofa is tidied up, or the counter cleaned off. So the reason that everything being gray and white feels soooooo darn good, is its one less thing for our minds to process.
See, we don’t notice it’s happening but our bodies and brains are processing feedback all-the-time. The texture of the desk. The difficulty in twisting the lamp knob. The creek in the stair. The keys on the table. Add to all that normal stuff, the mama guilt that insists that the gaming controllers not be strewn across the family room, and you got a lot of chatter up in there. When your brain does not also have to process “red lamp, red blanket, orange red pillow… should I have gotten a purple pillow???” It becomes quieter. We feel calmer. We feel like we can actually breathe.
Here is the kicker though… that is NOT how a masculine interprets it. It feels lifeless. Devoid of energy. They are aching to feel something in these spaces. Precisely why it feels so good to us, is why it feels so ungrounding to them. It’s not that they don’t see all the stuff, it’s that their brains don’t process that information the same way ours does. And they don’t view all of that imperfection as their parenting report card.
If you are now finding your gray palette room feeling a little bland now that you are stuck at home more than ever before, keep that in mind. You might just need to add a little life to your space.
So when Carly was at this crossroads, unsure of how to proceed, she asked my advice. She was at the art stage and was looking at black and white photos… because obviously, that makes sense, right? But as we dropped artwork image after artwork image onto her wall, she kept feeling more and more lost. Sometimes it’s like playing that game of hot and cold while you feel your way around the room… she kept bumping into cold, and just couldn’t find the doorway to “getting warmer”.
After we went through a bunch of black and whites like she thought she wanted and didn’t find a winner, I suggested we play with a hint of color. Super neutral with just a whisper to create depth. And I saw the internal panic. “But my room is gray and white. I can’t do that! It’s breaking the rules and I want this to look right!” But she trusted me. When I dropped a gorgeous photograph of Anacapa island at dawn onto her wall, we all gasped slowly. It clicked. I just love when it clicks! Often it feels like puzzle pieces that lock into place, and you can feel it tingle down your spine. We saved all the runner-ups and the winner, and we met with her husband the next day, so he could decide. And just like before… magic. By bringing in that subtle gray- blue ocean and sky, chocolate brown and faint sunrise horizon, we created a depth to the room that it was lacking before. We gave him the “life” that he wanted, and maintained the “calm” that she wanted. And what’s great is, later on, if she craves a change, she can easily swap out throw pillows and small accessories in the sky or ocean colors and easily create a whole new feel in the space. Her investment pieces give her room to play. And I really love that. I want you to be empowered after we work together. To know what that click feels like, so you can keep chasing it. So your pilot light burns bright and beautiful and you feel your spaces, filling you up.
My journal reflection:
Noticed beauty:
As I was driving home I noticed the storm clouds that had been taunting us all day. They cleared up just as the sun was setting and it cast the most exquisite pink and peach glow on the west faces of the gray puffy clouds. Glowing cotton candy in the sky. I got out of my car when I got home and just stood there, looking up at them. In awe of the magic of this one section of sky lit up. I felt the “click”. The tingle in my neck, relaxing of my tongue, and smile peeking out from corners of my lips. The kind that sinks into your soul, and softens you. When for just a moment, you forget everything, and look in wonder with the eyes of a child at something as simple and magnificent as the sky.
It’s time to move! Grab your other device to play today’s movement song.
The song for today, is:
“Through the Eyes of a Child” by Aurora.
Find this and all the songs I mention in this podcast on my Spotify, Listening Closely, playlist. Get the link at awakenyourinterior.com/resources It’s also where you can download your own printable body-led journal… and my new free e-book.
Today we are going to play with the feeling of wonder. For just a moment, take a breath and remember a good childhood memory. It can be anything, big or small, a year or a moment. All that matters is it brought you joy. Mine is playing with matchbox cars in a patch of warm sunlight on the family room floor, watching Strawberry Shortcake on TV. Find yours. Remember the way it felt in your body. Breathe that in. Were you warm? Cold? Was anyone else there? Is there a sound you can remember? A scent? Did someone say something? What was the light like? Take another breath. Find the part of you that still believes in magic and wonder. And as we listen to the lightness of this song and Aurora’s voice, listen to it expand and drift in the air, and see if you can let it take you along for the ride.
Your Soulwork for today:
Find a moment of beauty today that takes your breath away. Notice when something catches your eye and stop and let it soak in. Feel the click. Let your eyes be your camera. The colors, textures, patterns. See them, and capture all of it. Close your eyes and hold onto the feeling. Notice the awe and wonder in your body. It still exists there. And the more you see, the more you will find.
Thank you so much for spending time with me today. I know how hard it is when it seems like there isn’t any to spare. But you showed up today. You put yourself on the list and I celebrate you. As you move through your day, keep your soul work assignment in mind and before starting bedtime routine, while the kids are brushing their teeth, grab your journal and fill in the prompts. Keep going. You can do this.
Know another mom who needs to put themselves on the list too? Please share the love, because we are stronger together.
Until tomorrow. Lots of love.
Tasha